First type are people who go into a public bathroom and immediately start hard-breathing, snorting, snarling, clearing their throat, coughing, sighing, yawning, stretching, and farting loudly. It’s like these people are letting out a lifetime of built-up aches, pains, gas, fluids, and deep thoughts.
And they don’t give a fuck.
The surprising thing is, most of these people aren’t even obese. But god damn do loud fat-person noises resonate from their bodies.
The other type of person quickly sits down and leaks out a shit as quietly as possible, with near whisper-quiet breath taking.
Not sure if it’s nature or nurture which puts us down one of these paths, but I kind of wish I was one of the former.