Screw turning water into wine or lead into gold. I devised a chemical formula breakthrough that will change everything.
3 or more slices Papa John’s Pizza + liberal application Garlic dipping sauce + 1 or more pepperoncini’s =
This formula has over a decade of research with 100% predictability. It is possible that the pepperoncini isn’t strictly necessary for full-fledged diarrhea, and simply makes your asshole burn.
But really, what’s the point of diarrhea without a raw and bloody asshole? At that point we’re really just splitting ass-hairs.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=168339 (control-f “rapid-onset high-pressure diarrhea”)